The Battle of Screen Time (and How to Win It)

It’s summer! That can mean more time outdoors and having fun for kids, but for parents it can also mean more need for child entertainment, and that sometimes means: more screen time. Kids and teens love screens. Screens give them a way to connect with others, learn technology skills that they’ll need as they get older, and they always offer exciting and new content. But what happens when the screen goes away? Tantrums, meltdowns, and arguments are all reactions most parents often see when screen time is over. This is because screens create a “dopamine crash” pattern: their brain gets flooded with feel good dopamine chemicals while interacting with a screen, but the dopamine drop when a screen gets taken away leaves kids feeling bored and annoyed at best, and irritable and aggressive at worst. In the long term, excessive screen use affects kids’ attention spans, moods, sleep, and self confidence. 

But do not despair! It is possible to protect children’s brains and well-being without completely disconnecting them from screens. Screens can be used in a healthy way, and teaching kids how to self-manage boundaries with screens is a valuable skill they can take with them into their adult lives.  

It can be tempting to just put time limits on screen use: many kids get x number of minutes during the week and y number of minutes on weekends. But this doesn’t solve the dopamine crash problem, and it doesn’t necessarily teach how to use screens appropriately. Instead, consider setting boundaries around how screens are used at home by making policies that apply to the whole family. Some boundaries to consider: no screens during meal times, no screens in bed, screens off at least 1 hour before bedtime (this can help kids fall asleep faster), all screens charge overnight and out of sight together (this may work best in parents’ room if sneaking screens is a problem). 

You can also help kids manage the “dopamine crash” when screen time is over by planning ahead. No one wants to go from a fun YouTube video to boring homework (or worse: bedtime). Making a fun “after screen time” plan, like a craft, puzzle, or a trip to the playground or library, with your child before screen time begins helps to set expectations and make the transition easier. When your child does transition smoothly, positive reinforcement can go a long way. Rewarding a child who turns off his minecraft game on time with five minutes added to his screen time tomorrow will help him learn the benefits of stopping on time and without a fight. Conversely, a child who has a meltdown and difficulty stopping his minecraft game at the planned time may need five minutes removed from his screen time tomorrow. Many parents have an “all or nothing” approach to screentime rewards and consequences. In reality, using smaller rewards and punishments that are reflective of the child’s behavior are more effective, help children learn screen boundaries, and give parents more flexibility and leverage. 

On a final note: screens aren’t inherently bad, and we don’t need to withhold them from our kids. The best thing we can do as caregivers is maintain consistent boundaries around screens that we also follow ourselves.